O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
