There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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