Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize