no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
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