I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
