Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
Randomize
