the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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