is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
