no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
Randomize
