Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
