Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
try to milk me bitch
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
