I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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