Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I feel like abortions should bother me more
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
