I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
