he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
