you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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