There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
