Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
We should install the 'help i've fallen and can't get up' buttons on our bodies for this weekend. Birthday weekend calls for extra measures.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
