was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
Randomize
