You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
sarcasm needs its own font
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
my mom called me mid shot and i accidentally answered and kept calling her my own name. somehow i thought that would help the situation.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
