this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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