just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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