Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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