i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The air was thick with penises
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
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