I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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