I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
