dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
