i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
i must of done something right to please the booty call gods. . . maybe fucking that fat chick?
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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