She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
i came on her dog
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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