He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
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