I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Turns out she left way earlier. So I'm stuck with this guy asking where he can score meth and if I'm really straight.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
