Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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