It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
my liver is dry heaving
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize
