Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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