the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
