This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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