I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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