i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
