Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
