um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
Randomize
