so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
