the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
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