he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Randomize
