you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just masturbating and watching Sports Center...is this what it's like to be a guy?!
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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