I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
Randomize
