suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
