he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize