I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
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