Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Randomize
