girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
So much Jack, so little girl.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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