i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
