I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
