Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize