Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
