I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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