Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
The cab driver is now flexing at a red light...
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
