Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
