is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
