sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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