Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
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