We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
