he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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